Men on the Path to Love Podcast
S2 Ep16
Conscious Man’s Journey in Relationship
Hi, and welcome to the Men on the Path to Love podcast, the Conscious Man’s Journey in Relationship, episode. I’m Bill Simpson your host, I coach men who are struggling in relationship how to communicate effectively, build trust and deepen intimacy, so they can be the best version of themselves in relationship, and live the life they love!
So the other day my wife sent me this quote and it said “A conscious man loves his woman exclusively. When a conscious man commits to you you’re the only woman he sees. You’re emotionally safe, you’re protected, you’re respected, you’re cherished, you’re loved. You can trust him completely because he is connected to his truth and he is a man of his word.” And my wife added, ‘thank you for being a conscious man.”
That quote by the way came from the website. evolvedwomen.com
So after reading this, I was really touched and humbled. Not thinking so much that I’m a conscious man but that my wife, my beloved sees me in this way. And it also made me realize that I wasn’t always this way, and that my hard work and commitment really paid. I couldn’t be more fulfilled than being in the marriage that my wife and I share. I am lucky, blessed and grateful to be with the evolved and conscious woman she is. And, I have to say, we make a pretty good team.
The impact of what my wife shared with me in sending me the quote and her gratitude, is why I decided to do an episode on being a conscious man in relationship. And you know, a lot of the stories I share on this podcast are about men who have transformed, in one way or another, to be better and more conscious in relationship. In this episode, I’d like to share Reid’s story of transformation and evolution to be the conscious man he is today.
Reid, (not his real name) a shy, deep thinker from a young age, always found himself deep in contemplation, you know, exploring the complexities of life, relationships, and at times, he was self-reflective. He read a lot, he did very well in school, always in the gifted programs, and ultimately received scholarships for he academic achievements.
As Reid transitioned from adolescence to his early 20s, his intellectual pursuits often got in the way of his understanding of emotional intelligence and being conscious in relating to others. Especially when it came to dating. It was at the point where his parents suspected that he might be on the Autism or Asperger spectrum, yet it was determined that he was not neurodivergent, that is differing of what is considered functioning mentally or neurologically normal or typical. That wasn’t Reid.
Well, his dating life in college was pretty much a mess. He didn’t date when he was in high school, with his focus on academics. Reid was intellectually brilliant but had a hard time connecting emotionally. He relied more on logic than really understanding and reading the feelings of the women he was dating. As he would start to get close, he would blow it somehow.
Reid's deep thinking led to him overthinking, and he would have a hard time communicating at times. He could talk about intellectual stuff but when it came to expressing his emotions or understanding the emotional needs of his partners. He would get lost in his thoughts, get all tongue-tied and any connection would just fall apart. He was also shy around girls. He would distance himself emotionally when he was faced with any conflicts or vulnerabilities that would come up inside. Reid’s avoidance kept him from having the deeper connection he really wanted.
Well, over time Reid began to feel like a failure in relationships. He decided that there had to be a better way and started on his journey of personal growth. It started by accident when stumbled upon a book that someone had left in a cafe. It was by Michael Singer called The Untethered Soul. He read the whole book while he was at the cafe. He got his first taste of what mindfulness was all about, and it had such an impact on him that he began to pursue more.
- He really got into mindfulness practices, like meditation and the slow-moving martial art of tai chi, to help him become more present in the moment and cultivate some self-awareness.
- Reid sought the guidance of a therapist who specialized in cutting-edge approaches to emotional intelligence. Through therapy, he explored the roots of his emotional challenges, he got insights into his past and learned tools to help him relate to others in a more healthy way.
- He went to various personal and spiritual growth workshops, including Transcendental Meditation (TM), non-violent communication training, Tantra, and relationship workshops. Attending these workshops helped him tap into a deeper sense of self and also to connect with the spiritual aspects of relationships.
- He learned about effective communication, conflict resolution, empathy, and how to be more vulnerable. He now had an understanding of how to be better in relationship. These tools helped Reid to navigate challenges and how to connect more authentically in relationship.
- He would take all the lessons he learned and applied them to his real-life relationships. He went through his share of trial and error in relationships, yet he kept getting better as time went on.
- And eventually he began to break free from old patterns, allowing himself to be more vulnerable and emotionally available. And this helped him with his confidence and become much more sure of himself, and a lot less shy.
Then, he met Rhea, a woman who appreciated how deep he was intellectually, and how he craved emotional connection. Their relationship grew as Reid used his consciousness skills, to create a relationship he always wanted.
Today, Reid and Rhea enjoy a loving and conscious marriage. Reid's journey from a shy deep thinker to a self-confident conscious man, just shows the transformative power of commitment he had to his personal and spiritual growth, and doing the work, to be a better for himself, and in relationship.
So as you can see in Reid’s story, being a conscious man in a relationship is all about commitment, self-awareness, personal growth, and a commitment to creating a healthy, respectful, and fulfilling relationship. A conscious man makes an effort to understand himself, his partner, and the dynamics of the relationship at a deeper level.
Now, I’m going to breakdown some of the main components of what it means to be a conscious man in a relationship:
- First and foremost (as I mentioned) commitment. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, nothing happens until you commit.
- Next is self-awareness. Being conscious means being aware. Aware of your thoughts, your feelings, and how you behave. It’s taking the time for some soul-searching or introspection. Look to understand what motivates you, knowing your triggers, and patterns. I’m not gonna lie, that takes hard work, and it’s worth it. And if you struggle with it, get some help, no shame.
- With being a conscious man comes emotional intelligence (EQ). It’s a crucial component of conscious masculinity. It means noticing and effectively managing and having compassion for your own emotions AND being able to have compassion and empathize with the emotions of your spouse or partner. Again, you made need help with this and it can be a learned, like Reid. And I certainly had to learn.
- A conscious man is all about effective communication. That means having open, honest, and respectful communication. It’s actively listening to your spouse or partner, expressing yourself in an authentic way, and working to understand and address any issues or breakdowns in communication, in order to see and hear your partner, and for you to be seen and heard as well.
- Another characteristic of conscious man is taking responsibility for his actions and the impact his actions have on the relationship. It’s being accountable for mistakes and being willing to confront and resolve any conflicts in a mature, conscious way. This can be really challenging for some men. It’s about letting go of your ego and going for the higher good of the relationship. This can be tough at first as well. Yet with being open to feedback and lots of practice, you can do it.
- What can also be a challenge for some men is seeing his partner as an equal. A conscious man does just that, and he respects his partner’s individuality, opinions, and autonomy. It’s about working towards building a relationship that is based on mutual respect and sharing in the decision-making.
- And with that is supporting and nurturing your spouse or partner's dreams, aspirations, and personal growth. It’s creating the space where both partners can thrive individually and as a couple.
- Another important characteristic of a conscious man is being mindful and present in the relationship. That means to be in the present moment and fully engaged in the relationship without being effected too much by past experiences or being too anxious about the future. I know that’s is easier said than done and it can be a delicate balance for all of us. And again, it takes commitment and lots of practice. The more you practice, the better you get at it.
- And finally, for some, a spiritual connection can be a part of being a conscious man. What does that mean? Well, I’m not talking about religion here. It can, but what I’m referring to is having shared values, a sense of purpose, and a deeper connection beyond the material aspects of the relationship. What that entails would depend on the individuals involved.
So again, being a conscious man in a relationship is about an on-going commitment to self-awareness, (and awareness of your spouse or partner) personal growth, and creating a partnership that is built on respect, empathy, and that shared growth. It's about nurturing a connection that is mindful, supportive, and as my wife and I say, keeping the precious jewel of the relationship shining. And that is for both individuals in the relationship.
I have a quote for you from relationship expert and author of the book Getting the Love You Want Harville Hendrix, he says "A conscious relationship requires awareness, communication, and a commitment to personal and mutual growth." There you go!
And for all the men listening, please know that the fact that you are listening to this podcast, you are on your path as a conscious man, on your path to love.
At that will do it for this episode of the Men on the Path to Love, the Conscious Man’s Journey in Relationship, episode. I’m Bill Simpson your host. I really appreciate you listening and keeping an open mind.
Coming up on the next episode of the Men on the Path to Love podcast, Do you feel the need to fix or solve your spouse or partner’s problem? You’re not alone. A lot of men have this problem-solving mindset. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the women I see in my clinical practice say that they wish their spouse or partner would stop trying to fix everything when they share with them their problems or what they’re going through.
They don’t necessarily want you to fix them, first and foremost, they want you to hear them and support them. In the next episode, you’ll hear Rasheed’s story and how he discovered the power of an amazing connection beyond fixing and solving. Please join me for the Stop Trying to Fix the Problem in Relationship, episode.
If you have any suggestions or topics for the podcast, any comments you’d like to share or have any issues in your relationship you need help with, please email me at Bill@menonthepathtolove.com, that’s Bill@menonthepathtolove.com.
Always remember you can schedule a free hour long, no strings attached consultation with me, simply by visiting my website at Men on the Path to Love.com, that’s menonthepathtolove.com.
And if you know someone who you think might get something out of listening to this podcast, please share the link and share the love.
And until next time keep your heart open and stay on the path to love.