The Role of Spirituality in Relationship: How Shared Beliefs Can Strengthen Your Connection

What happens when couples find common ground in something greater than themselves? Spiritual connection. And it doesn't have to be religious. There are many forms of spirituality, and whatever it is to you, it can create a  foundation that can transform a relationship.

This episode explores how shared beliefs, values, and practices can lead to relationship satisfaction and longevity.  I share how spirituality became the foundation of my 16-year relationship/marriage, creating a bond that grows stronger each day. I also share Ross & Rachel's story and how one of them converted religions, and the transformation that occurred with their shared beliefs.

I'll also share some research that backs up the adage, "couples who pray together, stay together," and more reasons why having shared beliefs can enhance connection in relationship. 

Join me for my post-episode, LIVE virtual event "Beyond the Episode" this Wednesday at 7 PM Eastern US/Canada. We'll go deeper into the episode, so bring your questions, stories , and good intentions.                                                         

Here's the Zoom link: https://us06web.zoom.us/j/83998482720  OR...

Facebook Live: 7:00 PM EDT

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome and Introduction
• 1:54 Bill's Personal Spiritual Journey
• 3:44 Ross and Rachel's Interfaith Story
• 7:54 Research on Spirituality in Relationships
• 10:58 Gratitude and Common Values
• 13:02 Episode Wrap-up and Next Week's Preview

Transcript

Bill Simpson: 0:08

Hi and welcome to the Men on the Path to Love podcast the role of spirituality in relationship how shared beliefs can strengthen your connection episode. I'm Bill Simpson, your host. I coach men who are done suffering in relationships, men who want deeper love, real connection and to finally feel like themselves again. I help them become the best version of themselves, for themselves and for their current relationship or the one they're ready to find so they can live the life they love. So they can live the life they love. We're

Bill Simpson: 0:47

right in the heart of the spring season and with that comes many spiritual celebrations like easter, ramadan, passover, holi and the spring equinox, and most recently, with Pope Francis passing away this week, I felt called to explore the role of spirituality in relationship. Now, whether you're religious, spiritual or still trying to figure all that stuff out, this episode is about how finding something greater than yourselves to believe in and believing in this together can deepen your love and bring more meaning to your relationship, can deepen your love and bring more meaning to your relationship.

Bill Simpson: 1:26

Now I know for me, spirituality has played a big part in my relationship with my wife and most of my relationships. Frankly, my wife is an interfaith minister and our spirituality is a value that we hold dear to our hearts. I feel like my life has been one big spiritual journey, an ongoing effort to grow and evolve spiritually. Ever since I can remember I've had this great thirst for spiritual exploration. Although my spiritual roots are in Christianity, I've explored and studied many different religions and spiritual practices. I've explored and studied many different religions and spiritual practices and I've come to recognize the common denominator in most religions is love, being kind and loving one another and being grateful. You know, those are the common denominators. Forgiveness, right, and that's aside from all the specifics of each religion, right. Those are the main themes that I take away from them, and to be on the same page spiritually with my wife makes our relationship so much easier on various levels. You know, having the common value of spirituality is really the glue that holds our relationship together.

Bill Simpson: 2:42

The fact that we met at a time when I didn't look very good on paper. I told this story in the first episode of this season, after going through my third divorce, living in a room in someone's house and I had just got laid off my job. I really didn't look good and I got this strong spiritual push to put myself out there on a site called Conscious Match, which was a spiritually based site, and my wife was on a site called Spiritual Singles, which apparently the two were connected. Well, anyway, she reached out to me three days after I posted my profile and we've been together ever since. That was 16 years ago, and our relationship just keeps getting better and stronger every day, and I am so grateful.

Bill Simpson: 3:33

Another example is a story that was shared with me a while back that I'd like to share with you, and that was the story of Ross and Rachel Not their real names. When Ross met Rachel, spirituality wasn't really on his radar. He was raised Christian, specifically Baptist, but in his family religion wasn't much of a priority. Ross knew it was kind of important, but he really didn't get into it. Now, Rachel was basically the opposite. She was a devout Catholic. She had a deep faith and she loved participating in all the rituals. You know, Sunday Mass, prayer, serving the community, all that. She embodied it all and it was really who she was. It was really a part of her life.

Bill Simpson: 4:23

And as things got serious with the two of them and the topic of marriage came up, Rachel started to get concerned about Ross not being Catholic. She loved him very much and yet wanted to marry someone who shared her Catholic faith. She loved him very much and yet wanted to marry someone who shared her Catholic faith. She was hesitant to say anything at first, for fear that Ross would feel like she was trying to control him. Well, she mustered up the courage to bring it up to Ross and, to her surprise, he said that he would gladly convert. And he added that it wasn't out of obligation or feeling like he was controlled by Rachel. It was because he really resonated with the structure and the ritual and the awe that he had found in his experience with Catholicism. It was something that he felt that had been missing from his life. So, to Rachel's amazement, Ross was 100%. All in the beauty of this story is that their shared beliefs gave their relationship a strong foundation.

Bill Simpson: 5:24

When they faced challenges whether they had disagreements or the stress of work and raising young kids, or any adversity life threw at them that the faith that they shared was a place where they would always rely on to get them through the adversity. And what really stuck with me in this story that I didn't mention is Ross saying that he didn't just gain a wife. He said he gained a deeper sense of himself and something much bigger than the both of them his spiritual awakening, his faith, and one that they shared together. Now, I shared this story because it demonstrates the power of having those mutual beliefs in relationship, and I have to say from my experience that this is pretty rare when it comes to religious beliefs, right, I mean, it's not so much rare because of Ross converting, it's rare to the extent that he was all in and that he adopted the faith and spirituality so strongly.

Bill Simpson: 6:30

Now I want to stress that spirituality doesn't have to mean religion. Okay, it can be as simple as a belief in a shared purpose, or just to be kind or to be a good person. It can involve a higher power, you know. It can also involve personal growth or even the sacredness of the relationship itself. And doing some small things, some small spiritual rituals, like, I don't know, lighting a candle at dinner or saying appreciations to each other every day, or having weekly check-ins about your relationship All that can build a more spiritual bond and strengthen your connection.

Bill Simpson: 7:13

And couples who see that their relationship is part of something bigger than themselves, they're more inclined to protect it and nurture it, you know, for the long-term success of the relationship. And it's also not about having to have the exact same rituals or practices. It's about respecting and connecting through the big picture of having a shared meaning. I mean, I know couples that are from different religions but they connect around the fact that they both believe in God. They just observe their belief in God in different ways, all right, so a lot of what I'm seeing here is common sense, right.

Bill Simpson: 7:53

Well, there is research that supports that having shared beliefs can strengthen and enhance relationships. One way is that shared spiritual beliefs can reinforce emotional connection. Of family psychology that found that couples who shared spiritual practices, such as going to services, prayer or having spiritual discussions, reported higher levels of emotional intimacy and satisfaction. And that's important, because sharing spirituality often opens us up to vulnerability, you know, to soften up a little, to trust and to have deeper conversations that are more than about just the day-to-day stuff. They're about real stuff, like real purpose, hope, meaning and their values.

Bill Simpson: 8:47

And I'm sure you've heard the adage, you know, couples who pray together stay together. Yeah, well, that doesn't just apply to religious prayer. A study from the University of Georgia found that the shared prayer or even non-religious spiritual rituals like sharing gratitude, appreciation, mindfulness, meditation or just taking time for some sort of reflection. All that significantly increased the feelings of unity and teamwork between spouse or partners. And it's important to note that it's less about specific religion and more about intentional shared moments that are in alignment with a higher sense of purpose and shared support.

Bill Simpson: 9:30

There's also research from the American Psychological Association that says that shared spiritual beliefs can help build resilience in relationship and it's kind of like I said earlier. You know, the more shared beliefs they have together, the more likely they are to protect those beliefs and nurture the relationship, especially when they're under stress or they're experiencing some type of conflict or adversity. And when couples see their relationship as sacred or spiritually meaningful, they're more likely to forgive, right, to persevere and all that's good for the long term of the relationship and that's what we're shooting for in a committed relationship. And

Bill Simpson: 10:17

And the research also shows that having shared beliefs gives couples common values and morals, kind of a compass to work by right. According to the Pew Research Center, couples who align with spiritual or religious values often report fewer conflicts over major life decisions such as parenting and finances, health decisions and so on. And having that common foundation with decision-making can reduce tension around those decisions and it also leaves more room for cooperation because they're on the same page spiritually. More room for cooperation because they're on the same page spiritually.

Bill Simpson: 10:58

And one more piece of research I'll mention, and it's about something that I'm passionate about, and that is gratitude and appreciation. Having shared spiritual beliefs can enhance these practices. According to the University of North Carolina, a study found that spiritual practices, especially those that focus on gratitude and appreciation, increase feelings of wanting to stay committed in the relationship, and it also takes the focus off their personal complaints or issues. So the spiritual practice of gratitude and appreciation helps us to shift and reframe the focus from what's wrong in this relationship to what's right in the relationship. It's just how you look at it, it's your mindset. So these are a few things that I came up with to address the positive role of spirituality in relationships, how it can strengthen your relationship, and I'm sure you have some of your own.

Bill Simpson: 11:55

And I want to stress again that this is not about religious beliefs per se. Spirituality encompasses a whole range of possibilities and the bottom line is what does spirituality mean to you and to you and your spouse collectively, mean to you and to you and your spouse collectively, and what common beliefs or values can you both agree on and act on. Give it some thought. I have a quote this week from doctor, author and spiritual leader Deepak Chopra. He says, quote A spiritual relationship is a partnership in which both people commit to mutual growth and a higher purpose Unquote. Who could ask for more than that?

Bill Simpson: 12:41

And that is a wrap of this episode of the Men on the Path to Love podcast the Role of Spirituality in Relationship how Shared Beliefs Can Strengthen your Connection episode. I'm Bill Simpson, your host, and, as always, I thank you so much for listening. Now, coming up on the next episode of the Men on the Path to Love podcast, I'm going to share some light on a trait that most of us would hate to admit that we have, and that is jealousy. Yeah, man, it's an ugly feeling. Well, I share Harry's story and how his jealousy almost ruined his marriage and what he did to save it. Please join me for the Understanding and Overcoming Jealousy in Relationship episode.

Bill Simpson: 13:29

And remember, later on this week I'll be hosting another live virtual event where we go deeper into this week's episode. It's called Beyond the Episode, wednesday evening at 7 o'clock Eastern. The link is in the show notes, so bring your questions, your stories and your good intentions, and I hope to see you there. And

Bill Simpson: 13:50

if you would like to have the link emailed directly to your inbox, simply contact me through the show notes. Or, better yet, go to my website, menonthepathtolove. com. And while you're there, you might as well sign up for a free hour long coaching session with me and get the support you need to sort through any issue you may be having. It's free, it's an hour of your time and you just might learn something and get on that path to love. All right, once again, it's at menonthepathtolove. com, and remember until next time, keep your heart open and stay on the path to love.